


Loser

by TheTwoPlayerGays



Series: Tumblr Prompts [8]
Category: Be More Chill, Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Squip, help him, jer is getting tormented by his past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 16:12:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10925379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTwoPlayerGays/pseuds/TheTwoPlayerGays
Summary: "Loser."Every syllable his Michael with a harder blow, causing him to retreat more and more into his shell. Jeremy was crying now, desperately trying to get his words out. He fought his invisible captor, trying with all his might to break free and hold Michael in his arms and tell him everything was ok. But nothing happened.





	Loser

As Jeremy opened the door to Michael's house, he closed the soaking umbrella behind him, shaking the rain droplets onto the outside porch. His parents were used to Jeremy coming round at this hour, especially during the holidays, so there was no problem with Jeremy leaving his damp umbrella by the door before taking off his coat and hanging it up to dry. The storm had kicked in a couple of hours ago - he thinks, Jeremy often lost of time during storms - and eventually decided to visit Michael so that he wouldn't be alone. They always liked to be together, watching the rain fall and the lightning slash through the night sky.

After kicking off his shoes, Jeremy slowly crept across the floorboards of the Mell residence, trying not to wake his parents who were most likely asleep upstairs. He approached the basement door, swung it open and was immediately swamped by the feeling of welcoming and warmth. It was one of the many reasons Jeremy loved Michael's basement. 

"Michael! I'm coming down, hide the porn!" He shouted playfully down the staircase as he closed the door behind him. Not expecting much of an answer from the boy, Jeremy began descending the stairs to meet Michael. However this time, he did get an answer. 

"I hate you Jeremy," came the muffled voice of Michael, but clear as day for his best friend of twelve years. Jeremy stopped in his tracks trying to process the words. Sure, he and Michael joked around all the time, but he had never heard this particular phrase in such a serious manner before. Knowing something was clearly wrong, he rushed down the remaining steps and searched the room frantically.

He spotted his best friend in the corner of the room, huddled up against a tile wall and buried in his hoodie. A moment of concern and confusion passed over him until he realised he wasn't in Michael's basement at all. He was in a small cramped bathroom, one which he recognised to be in Jake's house. It was home to one particular moment that he would never forget, the moment when he shouted at his best friend and left him alone at a party. 

He tried to reach out to Michael, but his body refused to move. He was left defenceless, watching his best friend curl up onto himself with tears filling his eyes.

"I hate you," he repeated, this time a little clearer. He sounded as if he was trying to convince himself rather than stating a fact, repeating the phrase over and over again until it was engraved in his skull. Jeremy's heart sank at the sight and opened his mouth to comfort his friend but- 

"Loser." 

No- that's not what he wanted to say. He wanted to apologise, he wanted to comfort Michael and tell him that he didn't think he was a loser, that he was his favourite person and nothing would change that. Jeremy tried again.

"Loser."

The forced sounds hurled through the air, hitting Michael like a grenade.

"No... I'm not... I'm not a loser..." he repeated to himself, pulling his hoodie over his head to hide the tears streaming down his cheeks. Jeremy tried to reach out but once again found that he could not move a muscle. He was hopeless. There was nothing he could do. He tried to shout 'No Michael! You're not a loser! You are amazing, my best friend and I couldn't live without you. Please look at me, please!" But only one word fell beyond his lips:

"Loser."

Every syllable his Michael with a harder blow, causing him to retreat more and more into his shell. Jeremy was crying now, desperately trying to get his words out. He fought his invisible captor, trying with all his might to break free and hold Michael in his arms and tell him everything was ok. But nothing happened.

His prayers were interrupted by a loud 'KNOCK' on the bathroom door, causing Jeremy to wince, close his eyes and block out his ears from the action. 

When he reopened them, all he saw was red. There were flames surrounding him, trapping him in his own personal cage of hell. There were people running around him screaming "FIRE, FIRE", desperately trying to escape. 

"Stop..." he said to himself, his anxiety raising, his heart racing. "Stop it please.."

He saw the girls, Chloe and Brooke, trapped by the flames screaming. They were holding each other and looking straight at Jeremy.

"This is your fault! This is your fault!" They shouted, tears falling to the floor.

He saw Christine, dancing through the flames. Her smile was idle, her eyes were dull. Jeremy tried to warn her, tried to tell her to run. But she wouldn't listen. A small lullaby could be heard as she descended deeper into the flames.

"STOP IT PLEASE!" Jeremy screamed, hands flying to his head as he pleaded. 

A tall boy in a red hoodie stepped out of the flames in front of him holding a burning birthday card and Weird Al concert ticket. His face was numb and he stared coldly at his former best friend. 

"Michael..." Jeremy could barely say before breaking down into tears, finally reaching out for his friend. But Michael didn't respond. He stared down at Jeremy, not offering any emotion. Finally, he opened his mouth and began to speak. Only his voice was not him own. 

"Loser."

\---------

Jeremy's eyes shot open as he threw the blankets around him in a wild panic. His vision was blurry, not only from the darkness of his bedroom but from the tears that he had been shedding. The bright moonlight shone through the window at Jeremy, engulfing him in a spotlight he could not escape from. The soft sound of raindrops, the aftermath of a quite sudden storm patted the window frame. 

Slowly, as his breathing returned to normal, Jeremy gathered his remaining blankets and curled into himself. He began to cry again, ignoring the blaring headache he was experiencing from dehydration. He reminded like that for the rest of the night, watching the moon as it slowly descended into the suburban buildings in front.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt on tumblr (in which angst was inevitable you know who you are)
> 
> Tumblr - TheTwoPlayerGays (talk to me I need friends)


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